#@*! McDonald's

I have the ass today.

My white blood cell count has been low for days. And the resulting mouth and throat sores have kept me on a liquid diet for the better part of four days. I had a small mound of mashed potatoes for lunch and felt victorious.

Anyway, I thought I would improve my mood with a cup of McDonald's ice cream/frozen yogurt on the way to work. I drove up to the speaker and said - painfully, because of the mouth sores - "Could I have a small cup of ice cream." The voice in the box replied, "We don't have an ice cream machine today."

Let's examine this brilliant statement: "We don't have an ice cream machine today." Did someone steal it? Did the Hamburglar lose his taste for meat after the mad cow scare and start lifting ice cream machines? Or could it be that maybe it just wasn't working today? That's more likely and that's what should have been parlayed to me. For example, "I'm sorry, sir, but the ice cream machine is not working at the moment. Can we get you anything else?" I would have thought, "Hell no, you dumb bat. The only thing on your menu I can eat is unavailable. Thanks for ruing my day!" And then I would have driven away, which is what I did.
Pardon me for being a word snob. But I happen to work in a business where words and their meanings still matter. Say what you mean, people.

And why is it the ice cream machine is always broken in the summer? (Probably because I never try to order ice cream in February)

I have no previous beef against McDonalds. In fact, I took my first job at McDonalds at age 16. It was hot, greasy work and I went home smelling like a McNugget every night, but I have fond memories of working with my friends. It also helped me put some money in my pocket and bank account. And it confirmed that I wanted to go to college and find a better career. (some would argue journalism and nugget chef may be on par)

All I'm saying is I needed that ice cream today. So I boycotted McDonalds.. for about three hours. I drove to a different one around the corner from the office and got my cup. All's well that ends well, delayed gratification, etc. I guess I just wanted to bitch.